Joy and Sorrow

So much on my mind tonight. We've had lots of joy over the past few weeks and it's been mixed with some sorrow too. Not sure how eloquently my words will flow tonight. I'm just going to try and keep it real.

Mark and I have for years felt trapped in a burden of debt. It just seems to hang around like an albatross. We knew when we followed God's call to seminary that life would change; and it has so much. In ways more wonderful than we ever could have imagined. We have been to several places we'd never thought we'd go, starting with Iowa. We met friends we'll have for a lifetime there. Struggles were not absent but I'd go back there tomorrow again just to get my Ella Clare. From there we moved to New York, one of the most beautiful states in our union. I long to be back there most days, just soaking up the beauty I'm sure I took for granted while I lived there. Mark has traveled to Israel, South Korea and taken numerous other trips to study and learn more about our Savior and to proclaim the Gospel. The kids have grown immensely in their faith, especially since being here in Beaumont where the children's programming is so strong at our church. And I have been pressed to grow in areas I honestly did not know existed.

But our time in seminary left us with debt and it has seemed to dangle it's ugly face in our lives for years to follow. We're about to embark on the Dave Ramsey program Financial Peace University at our church and I'm hopeful that we can once and for all shake this nasty plague. We long to be able to do more with our money to help others in ways they've helped us. The amount of times people have given selflessly of themselves to support our family over the years are too numerable to even recount here. Both Mark and I are blessed with parents that love us all so much and are always there to lend support when we need it; both spiritually and financially. Those blessings are not lost on us.

Since the children from Uganda stayed in our home nearly 2 and a half years ago my heart has really not been the same. I think of Allan almost daily and wonder what he's doing and pray for his health. I wish so much that he could have been able to come and live with us. I still feel very motherly towards him even though we've not seen or spoken to him since he left the states. I just had this connection with him that made me feel as if he was one of my sons and I hope and pray that someday we might be able to see him again. As Mark, the children and I have watched the news this week and seen the tragedy that's unfolded in Haiti it just brings all those feelings back. I cannot as a mother even begin to imagine the depth of sorrow that exists in Haiti right now. Such an impoverished place in our world and it's been devastated again by a catastrophic event.

I read today that the average person in Haiti exists on around $525 a year. That's less than I make in one week and certainly far less than Mark brings home from his salaried job. It's mind boggling to even begin to pretend how we as Americans could exist on so little. I paid our bills this morning and came up drastically short this month due to an unexpected car repair that totaled much more than Mark and I were prepared to have to spend but it was non-negotiable. After I paid what I could I sat down with Mark to explain what we needed for the rest of the month and I just felt so guilty even being concerned with such frivolity when people not that far away were struggling just to get fresh food and water. Jesus commands us in Matthew 6 not to worry about where our provisions will come from. That he's aware of our needs and just as he tends to the flowers in the field and the birds in the air so he will provide for us.

I want to be free of the worry that money brings. I want to be free to send funds to people who need things so much more than I need a new pair of brown boots right now. I want to be able to continue to provide things for my children the way my parents did for me and my sisters. I want to be able to know that Mark and I can retire one day and spend the rest of our days bringing Glory to our God working side by side in ministry.

These are the thoughts on my mind tonight as I approach the next two weeks ahead of me. I have a birthday coming up, not one I'm excited to celebrate but I'm thankful for another year here on this earth to be with my family and thankful for the blessings God has seen fit to bestow upon me. Mark leaves for Austin on Monday and will be gone for two weeks to continue to work on his doctorate. It's a time he both looks forward to and dreads. It feeds his mind and gets him back in the classroom which he loves and really, who wouldn't love Austin. So much to do there. But it also takes him away from us and that he really dislikes. He'll be calling within a few days wanting to come back home and I'll have to talk him into staying telling him we're just fine without him; which in fact will not be totally accurate. I depend on him in so many ways and it's hard when he's gone but I put on a brave face and am thankful for the cavalry when they arrive. This time it'll be my parents. They'll come for a few days and it'll be great to have them here I know.

Enough of my ramblings and on with some photos...

Alabama beats Texas in the BCS National Championship

We had our own little family party. Didn't want any of those stinky Texas fans in my house to watch the game. I ordered Bama plates, cups and napkins several weeks ago to surprise Mark and the kids and we cooked up our game favorites. We had a great time watching the game with our new family addition, Bear. She wore her crimson and rooted on the Tide to a victory! We knew Alabama was #1 all season long and now the nation knew it too! Way to go boys!!!

Mark Thomas did a bunch of drawing during the

game and plastered the fridge in Bama signs.

Just Bear laying in Ella's cradle.

Won't be long and she won't fit in there.

And today Little Dribblers started for Mark Thomas and Ben. So much fun to see them both trying out a new sport. They did great! Both of their teams won and they each contributed to the point tally. We won't have many shots to share from these upcoming games though. The lighting was terrible in both gyms and I really only got a few good shots at Ben's game because a friend of mine let me borrow his VERY expensive flash. A purchase I won't be making any time soon. MT is #4 and Ben is #12. Max has played basketball at St. Anne's this year too. He's learned a lot but is still a baseball lover at heart. Sign ups for baseball are next weekend so we'll be back at the ball fields before we know it.

What happens in our house on a rainy day. I can't actually remain in the room because the disorder makes me a little batty. Mark is being a great Dad right now and helping to clean it all up. Ella printed out passes to allow entrance into her fort and a sign that said she was the front desk clerk.

Bear sacked out on the chair in the living room.

This could be a problem when she's much

bigger but for now it sure is cute.

Sheesh, you're probably asleep by now just like Bear after reading all my ramblings.